Back home from GeyLang.
Phew.
i've aLways hated going there,with the humid air and crowded pLaces it is just too much for my LittLe body and mind to cope.
CouLdnt seems to find the perfect cLothes,it was either way too expensive or way too ugLy.
See,i am so choosy.
i hate choosing Hari raya cLothes.i hate choosing.
Fuck.
i am stressing now.
Hope my
*dream-cLothes-which-i-din't-managed-to-buy-today-wiLL-be-avaiLabLe-tomorrow*
My heart wiLL be shattered into pieces if it were to be soLd out.
={

it is getting a LiL too boring isn't it,seeing me updating everyday?
No fret,i won't be updating again tiLL[Let me see]Hari Raye?
Hehe

Stucked at home again on another Saturday night.
it has been weeks since i step my foot outside,the Last time since i went out with Venom.
Unnecessary again.
i've been shutting myseLf up from my sociaL Life and are cLosing the door from the outside worLd.
i need to get a Life.
HeLp.

i've give up on my studies.
i am in no mood to study,especiaLLy on maths.0.0*


My horoscope:
The social games used to be fun and charming, but lately they've become too predictable and tiresome -- it's time for a change in your plan. People who are all talk and no action need to be avoided -- instead, you need to spend more time with people who commit to things and know how to follow through. You need to align yourself with people you can depend on. Shifts happen from time to time in your relationships, and this one is a necessary one.

Sometimes i am getting too LoneLy and tired

and im missing you again.

CurrentLy devouring on the mouth-watering chocoLate cream pie.
The Last i've got a taste of it was way back in time,the moment i Last ate at Long John,the moment i Last ate with Venom?
Unnecessary.
After about a century i faiL to pass my Geography test,finaLLy i did it.
i passed it,i passed it weLL.
Even Georgina was surprised and said,"Not bad,you actuaLLy studied."
What do you expect madam?Looking down on the quiet girL who seems to sLeep whenever she got a chance during your Lessons?
The truth is,i was taken aback at my score too.[exaggerated]
Thank God.
=DD
Was browsing through a brochure of Temasek poLy and has made up my mind to choose the course 'Law and management'
Laugh hard !
But i've been fatasizing to be a Lawyer when i grew up since i was an infant.
The criteria doesn't take much,just get hoLd on your scores to be a grade 6 and above.
Laugh even harder !
Syaf can do it.
if she say she can,she can.
But for now,she has doubts and time hasn't been on her side LateLy.
She doesn't have much time and even to think about improving her maths which she faiLs tremendousLy was a dream far-fetch.
Tomorrow wiLL be going to GeyLang with famiLy.
Shopped for a white baju kebaya/kurung either way it must be white.
And if there are no white,Let it be green.
Ok,whatever,kaLau sume tkde saye mLs nk crk baju !hehe.=.="""
What a reLief,after BFH accidentaLLy dropped the Laptop,i thought it wouLd be damaged or suffer from any internaL 'bLeeding',but there isn't.
The connection was even faster now!Hahaha.
Yes,Syu has broken up with Faz aka Jerk.XD
Now i couLd rest my head i am so cLear-headed now,kakti too..
it is not that i hate him,but i've never favour him from the start.
But seriousLy? dude,sometimes i misses your effing crazy seLf eventhough you're such an ass to me.
Haha,if you want to Let my sister go,Let her freed compLeteLy out of your Life.
Nobody couLd resist saying you guys was the perfect match for each other,but the behaviour,it is a contradiction.
im terribLy sorry but our famiLies are a bunch of hypocrite peopLes.
Teehee.

aLL i got to do is find my way back to Love.

Cause i'm Lost.`

it was time for me to update on my currentLy hectic days.
UnLucky,is the word that had hit upon Syu and me.
We were Late to schooL after about a Long time improvising our time management we thought we were never to be Late again.
And now i owe two hours of detention.FUCK !
Weeeee~
EventuaLLy the day struck us,hard.
Not onLy did the teacher caLLed our parents but we Lose a period to sitting down on the coLd hardy texture on the parade square.
Ended,it was time for the torturous subject i've been experiencing since forever.
Maths,eventhough how hard i tried,the equations and formuLas just wouLdn't stuck permanentLy in my brain.
Yes,a day is the maximum time i can recaLL the formuLa and stuffs,but after about two days,it was automaticaLLy fLushed out of my mind;brain.
i couLdn't possibLy give up without trying,but i can't seem to concentrate on the 'maths Language'.
What?Cosine ruLe?Sine?HaLf AB sin C?/haha.okok.Sorry.
Since entering the secondary years,homeworks is not in my dictionary.
How hard you prompt me to hand in.i wouLd not.
How strict you force us to do.i wouLd do it by cLosing my eyes.
it is just not working !Serious.
After schooL has ended,onLy three of the Express Art students went to the BiennaLe traiL heLd at City HaLL. [pLus other NA art students]
Yes,the artpiece should i say,magnificent?
Awesome,their creativity skiLLs and uniqueness never in my mind wouLd i think of art as a passion.
They've reaLLy accentuate the meaning of A.R.T.
At first,accepting the excursion bLuntLy was just a chance to escape from Maths remediaL but
to think it was worth it,it even worth my seven bucks.
Teehee.
For a previous Chemistry test,i scored weLL.
Even the teacher who Likes to criticize me and Syu said we are improving.
*Big smiLe*
The truth is,the test was effing easy,so anybody wouLd have ace it !
Hahaha.
XD!!

i am even proud on myseLf in the time management aspect.
Not onLy did i cut down on internet and idLing time but i Learned to squeeze in time to actuaLLy study and study harder.
The minimum time for me to have this Luxuries is onLy about an hour,yes,i can cope with it.
Since i aLso wanna cut down on my friends and not to search for anyone afraid to Let my mind wander again.
HeeXD
ALrite,i need to sLeep now.
Time check=10.45
Wow.What a big improvement !
Since about a few weeks back and counting i sLept the minimum is 12 and maximun is 3.
Jyeahh,
That expLain the head on my tabLe at every period.
ApoLogies.
Hee.XD!!

ALrite,now i reaLize i ought to say sorry,if not for you,its for me.
Pardon me for the previous post and the unintentionaLLy too emotionaL posts.
its just that it is the time of the month which i tend to get emotionaLLy-disturb and overLy-sensative,hehe.
im sorry for scaring you away `cause of my too hoping and expecting too much from this friendship.
its just that i shouLdn't post aLL those shit.
ShouLd just kept it in my thoughts,but i cant refrain myseLf to convey it here.
i need to Let it out.
Aye,apoLogies.
Tcaires.
=DD
Time check=8.16
im ok.
im ok.
its ok.
ALRiTE!!
weeeeee~

Even psycho know how to appreciate me and he even thought you were Lucky cause aLL i think about was you.
Since i've met you,its been awhiLe since i Looked out of the window,but now i reaLize,even the dude has a bigger heart than yours.
Who are you?
i don't even recognize you anymore.
Or maybe it was you aLL aLong but you just din't show your true coLours.
Maybe you din't reaLize who i was too.
Maybe i've commited a mistake,maybe i am too pathetic to grope to any man that waLks pass.
i swear i rue the day i met you.
ShouLdn't have deveLop a feeLings that has not been entering for so Long.
ShouLdn't have judge you from the outside.
Thanks God we wasn't taking things too fast,cause if we were,it wouLd be 20/08.
No,i am not desperate to have a bf or you in any way,you see i have been singLe for about a year + now and yes i know i can be independant.
i need you cause i used to Love you.
it was you.yes,it was you baby that said "when can you be mine?"
i gave you time eventhough if onLy i knew what the outcome wouLd be.
it was sudden and rare to have met someone that i thought couLd be mine.
i even have fantasies about it.
ALas,the person Looking at the product gets tired and move away to another.

i've got roLes to pLay too.
A daughter,sister,bestfriend and a student who pLedged to study even harder now.
What a great way to expLain things huh?But i din't ask for one,aLL i need is for you to teLL me Goodbye.
i'm off.
i wiLL sureLy find my way out and find a cLearer path to waLk,not a path fuLL of roses and thorns.
Thanks again for the memories i've not been experiencing for a Long time but yes,i am going to wash it aLL away soon.
Fancy playing with a 14 years oLd girL's heart.
it's funny how things happened.Laugh it aLL out Syaf.
My tears are drying anyway.
What the use of crying when it wasn't worthwhiLe.
i kept teLLing myseLf to cLose my heart but your words was too meaningfuL that it penetrated into it.
Great,now i have been Losing sLeep and time thinking aimLessLy.
Now i know what i shouLd do.
Yes,it wouLd be very easy for me to move on if onLy there are pLenty of guys Lining up waiting for me.
The probLem is,there isn't.
But i'm sure i can get better.
The patience ones wiLL get much better.=D
PeopLe used to say i am Lucky to have found you but maybe for now,i don't think so.
ReLationship=Some are good but not the permanent one's.
Even Mizi is missing.haha.ok,crap.
Run away guys,go shoo,run away from me.
0..0*
Now you reaLize what is wrong,now you know what you've made.
why did you even need to touched me with your charm?to show off your experienced skiLLs?
it doesn't make any sense.
i guess it wiLL not take much time deLeting you off since i am the girL who gets bored easiLy,
waiting.
AfteraLL i am the girL who can move on fast after a period of time missing a guy.
Read my archive.XD
There is no need for your sorries.
i hate apoLogies.

Yes,i did repLy to his message,now i regret for doing so.
Yepp,went out with famiLy to West Coast eventhough we pLanned to go GeyLang,but 'kite merancang Tuhan yang menentukan',so we din't managed to head with the pLan cause of certain reasons.
Uh-huh,Faz tagged aLong.0_0
i've never study so hard before a test and i am positive that i wiLL ace the Geography test.
Yes syaf !Such optimism to exceL in your studies.
i've never feLt so tired before,my eyeLids just couLdn't stop from coming to a sLit.
FinaLLy a record after about 7 months[OMG!7 months!!]there wouLd be atLeast a day of MedicaL certificate or Letters,now i managed to go to schooL for the whoLe week ![without any absents]
CongratuLate me baby!Hehe
Aye,my tiredness is eating me,so tiLL here i shaLL end.
Gotta regain my sLeeping time.
Tcaires.

i thought you Loved me
you never gave a fuck
why did you have to go and take my Life from me
Looking in your eyes
i finaLLy reaLize
that everything you said was taking Life from me
the memories feeL me back
why did you have to go and take my Life from me
and then you say your sad
Lost everything you had
stiLL everyday your aLways taking Life from me

SYAF DOESN"T GiVE A DAMN ANYMORE!!
WOOOHOOO.
=DD

Yes,here i am again in the middLe of the morning typing about my emotions,just couLdn't sLeep.
its just that i couLdn't resist sLeeping during Lessons and in the evening and therefore i suffered from imsonia.
0.0*
Lessons today was mostLy focused on oraL and conversation.
OraLs has not been my cup of tea,the truth is,i suck at it.
Hands down.
Eventhough i've been reading the dictionary Like a storybook,my vocab skiLLs hasn't improve.Yet.
Whether you are faLLing deepLy in Love or faLLing deepLy in hate with someone,either way you just couLd not concentrate on your studies.
Yes,you've been encouraging yourseLf to focus and concentrate on the most important aspect in your Life,your studies but you stiLL faiLed to pLan it.
if you faiL to pLan.
You plan to faiL.
That was what my EngLish teacher toLd the whoLe cLass.
Eeyer.
StiLL effing missing someWan.
StiLL wanting to cry my heart and eyes out but trying hard to hoLd back the tears.
StiLL wanting to contact with someWan eventhough i knew what the outcome wouLd be.
StiLL wondering why the sudden abandon?
StiLL am gLad that he is stiLL aLive and kicking.=)
StiLL ponder about myseLf because of the way peopLe treat me.
StiLL wondering why he Left my worLd just Like that.
StiLL confuse on why he gave me high hopes and crushed them on the way down.
StiLL thinking whether he is reading this.
StiLL bothers why i steaL his Line.
StiLL have doubts about my studies.
StiLL wondering why he stiLL featured and 'want-to-meet' me.
StiLL figuring if he stiLL regard me as Syaf[?]
StiLL Laughing to Mizi sudden siLence too.
StiLL effing missing Venom.
StiLL feLt the great Loss and LoneLiness overwheLms.
StiLL have attitude probLem.
StiLL hate schooL.
StiLL thinking about Muhd Ridzwan bin RamLe.
StiLL ponder if he is reading this.
StiLL thinking too much about why he have no heart[feeLings]
StiLL teLLing myseLf it is not my fauLt.
StiLL wishing for him to come back.
StiLL thinking that i am over-reacting?
StiLL needs a tutor to teach.0.0*
StiLL need to hear his voice.
StiLL need the tight hug.
StiLL need to Laugh at his jokes.
StiLL scoLding myseLf for being too sensitive.
StiLL regard him as a friend.
StiLL denies the fact that he is gone.
=]

OMG,Venom just message.
He toLd me not to worry that much.
He need more time to expLain that he cant be there for me.

Tears started roLLing.
StiLL thinking hard on why he can't be there for me when i needed him the most.
StiLL saying he is a Liar.

`i need you cause i Love you.

StiLL need bitch from heaven to consoLe me.
StiLL sick because of this shit.
StiLL doesn't know what to repLy.
=/

New post again`
They says never to Let go of the one you Love for the one you Like
Cause the one you Like wiLL go for the one they Love.
Kapish??
Hehe
StiLL enduring with the LoneLiness.
StiLL waiting for your repLy.
0.0*
Syaf has never been so pathetic before.~
ALrite,atLeast give me a week.hee.
i don't know whats wrong but do i need to convince you that i Love you so deepLy so that you wiLL come back to me or;
i hate you now with aLL my heart.i wish you dead so that you wiLL get the fucking out of ma Life !
haa,Either way,you won't respond huh dude.
Tak sangke you are this kinda guy.
=DD
it feeLs great.
Devoid of Love and devoid of sLeep.
Haha.
And it has aLL being stated,of aLL my past faiLed reLationships,not any one of them exceed more than a month.
i'm just not the girL-friend materiaL.=}
~you are a wife materiaL dear-Afi.
Hahaha.Fake!

Sometimes i think too much.
ApoLogies for the previous post if it is too emotionaL for you which i doubt it is.
Hehe.
Loves `Syaf aLways.
=)

CurrentLy chatting with this guy.OMG.You are stiLL rocking and the Rangers effing miss you.Meet up soon !hehe.=DD

Yepp,i'm back.

FeLt betrayed and used.0.0*

As you can see,i couLdn't sLeep,not because of too much pondering but my eyes just couLdn't come to a sLit.

Maybe memories wiLL haunt me if my worLd is in darkness.

its been 76 hours of siLence from that guy.

Two caLLs and two messages,he repLied to none.

He isn't responding and i thought he've got feeLings too.

i don't need any expLanation,what i needed the most is wether he stiLL want to be my friend or we couLd just

cut off this friendship.

Either way,i shaLL endure.

i hate siLence treatment and how guys Leave me hanging.

Just get me out of this abiding pain from my heart and souL.

Yepp,guys come and go out of my Life and the recent ones couLdn't get me Laughing at every sentences they

make.

The recent ones are so boring eventhough they got the Looks.

Appereance doesn't matter to me anymore.Hee

Yepp,i Love to compare,i just couLdn't heLp it.

Just teLL me what you need to impart,i shaLL Listen and understood-understand.hehe.

Why so serious?Lets put a smiLe on that face,or whatever it is.hee.=)

Yeahh baby,sometimes i misses you and needed you badLy and i thought i couLd not Live without you.

The other side of me is to just wish you are gone forever and i can be independant on my own,weLL that exactLy what i've been doing for the Last 1 year and five months.But most of the time,the-im-missing-you-part is overpowering.

Yepp.

Don't you think about me Like how i aLways think about you?

i hope we wiLL stay cLose in times to come.

Yes,dear.That was your sentences.0.0*

Sometimes i wish you are just playing with me and this was aLL a joke.

Yes,i dreamt of you.Once.

Majority of my dreams are the totaL opposite.Yepp.

Where is my tipper and counseLLor when i needed them now.

Haiya...

Ok,i am in a better shape now after chatting with friends that appreciated me and care for me.

Hmph.

it is soo sudden !OMG.What happen to you?

i didn't know that you couLd shift your heart that easiLy,or did you even Like me from the start?

Now everyone is saying,"OMG,where is that -----??!"

Hmmm,ask him yourseLf.=]

i don't give a damn anymore.

i have used up aLL my pride and aLL to get in touch with you.

if you think 2 caLLs and 2 messages are not enough,you are wrong.

it is to me.

ALL eLse needed is for him to get back to me if he stiLL wants too.

Now or never again.

Everyone thought we couLd be together,me too so did you.

You are not putting any sense to me i feLt so abash.

it is considered a big improvement to myseLf cause i think i can move on even though it is just a freaking three

days.

WeLL,you couLd.

So can i.

Yepp,there are afew first times with you and maybe some wouLd be the Last.

Yepp,i Left peopLe too but i didn't give them faLse hopes from the start,drng yg prsn.

ehehe.kLah.shesssshhh.=D

i need to study.

EOY are drawing near,aLL i've got to do is to revise at home.

But i spent most of my time idLing away and i thought you couLd be my tutor.

yadadada.

Teachers thought i am wayyyy stupid.

i shaLL not deny,i am.

hehe

But seriousLy,i dunnoe what happened to Ridzwan.

TOO SUDDEN>iTS TOO SUDDEN>YOU ARE SCARiNG ME.

0.0*

He ain't got feeLings Like what he posted.

=PP

Eventhough in my EngLish compo. i've wrote severaL wonderfuL expressions,i just couLd not get my hands to get a distintion[speLL check].

Hee,

AKWARD~

and maybe if you are reading this,just take note that i won't make you my abhorrence.Or maybe i changed my mind.You are sick.

XD.

Tcaires.

i AM STiLL THiNKiNG,WHERE ARE YOU??

i shaLL wait for tomorrow or perhaps on Monday;waiting for your expLaination or whatever you caLLed it.yah yah.read this fucker.

aahh,

tkpe.tk penting !

i shaLL continue about this feeLings on Monday.

My positive and negative thoughts.

For today,i've never feLt so coLd before.

i Love running aimLessLy in the rain ~

XD

weeee~ehhe.0.0*

insane fucker.This is what an insane fucker wouLd do when he has nothing fuckering to do.

=.=""

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yes,i couLd feeL the tears fLowing at night.

Boo.

i couLdn't concentrate on the task given.

i couLdn't sLeep,i couLdn't eat,i couLdn't bathe.

hehe,bedek.

"Omg , Omg"

that is the onLy thing my mouth wouLd bLurt out whenever it's being open.

Oh yes,my mind wouLdn't think straight.

i feLt so nausea and as if i couLd vomit anytime soon.

My heart.

i've kept taLking about my heart this few post

haha

omg,i ade heartprobLem kerr?

fake~

'cause they say never to Let your heart open~

OMG,this is it,this is it baby!

im sick

Love sick

sakit rindu

rofLmao

im so weak~

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

thanks soLitude,i'm regaining myseLf now

yurhh,so Syu said"mcm fifie"

aaaaahh !no!!!no.pLease no..

=[

Omg,a sad face.

omg.

*shakes head*

*roLL eyes*

O M G

!

0.0*

Look into my heart and you wiLL find Love Love Love Love.

=)

So today Faz and Syu heLped me to cut my hair.i Like my fringe.teehee.

i guess my perspectives of Faz has changed.He isn't that bad afteraLL.

ok,thats it

no mood to taLk about other stuffs.

tc.

if you are reading this,do contact me ASAP.

cause i effing miss you.

=/

hehe.

Boo !
i'm here.
i've managed to straighten my Limp body out of my dark bedroom and now i'm sitting infront of my addiction.
Yes.
internet.
i knew my mind tried to gain controL of myseLf and somehow urged me to post something.
But that something,however was wiped out of my mind.
Hahaha !
So this is it.
Now i remember what is it.
Now i remember what is my motive.
A psycho.
Again.
i am coming to terms about changing my handphone number.
UnfortunateLy,this is not the first time.
After muLtipLes prank caLLs received pLus new numbers wanting to make new friend,right on the spot,i knew i had enough.
A psycho,reaLLy mad but if you are experiencing what i am going through i guess this is what you wiLL do.
*throws handphone on the ground* *put your hands on your ears* *screams* "you are scaring the fuck out of me!!"
hahaha !
yeahh baby !i Loved to exaggerate.
weeeee~